Aphantasia
I’ve been working with Midjouney a bit to try and express what it’s like to experience Aphantasia. This is just a quick cut and doesn’t capture it. It turns out it’s hard to get a prompt that encapsulates what it’s like in a way that’s not just a large fuzzy black box. I’ll keep working on it as a nice artistic challenge. I have a hunch it’ll require some human adjustment in addition to the prompt.
Last year I learned that I’ve got a condition—I guess—that prevents me from picturing images in my mind. It’s a bit hard to explain to people. Put as simply as I can manage; I can’t see pictures in my mind’s eye. For example, when asked to picture a red apple with closed eyes, most people see it. For me, I see mostly darkness most of the time. However, I can hold the concept of a red apple and imagine it fully without actually seeing it, and occasionally, I can see…something. Still, it’s not a complete or accurate picture.
From aphantasia.com
Aphantasia is the inability to visualize. Otherwise known as image-free thinking.
People with aphantasia don’t create any pictures of familiar objects, people, or places in their mind’s eye. Not for thoughts, memories, or images of the future.
Much like another condition I have, Anosmia, which is an almost complete lack of smell, people's first impressions when they hear about it are wrong. It doesn’t feel debilitating at all, and I don’t feel like something is missing. Some people who find out they are affected by Aphantasia are left with a terrible sense of loss. I can understand that, even though it’s not what I feel. Mostly I feel curious about how others perceive things in their mind’s eyes. I have a wild imagination and vivid dreams, where I visualize quite a bit. I’m also a reasonably visual thinker; despite my inability to see things with closed eyes, I have a strong eye for patterns, colors, and the like. All of which is good, considering I’m a designer by trade. What I do not have—and what finding out about my Aphantasia has shed some light on—is an excellent visual memory. I’m terrible with faces, for example. This seems common among Aphants, and I’ve read anecdotally that many are more okay with loss, as that visual memory isn’t nearly as crisp as it would be for most people.
Another thing I’ve always struggled with is visualizing without reference, though I never really saw it as much of a constraint. I’ve always been a writer, and I think I’m very good both with reading comprehension and written communication, and I have a hunch that many others with aphantasia are as well.
Artificial Intelligence (AI) and tools like Midjourney—a controversial topic that will come up in this journal—have been invaluable to me as they work as assistive technology for my imagination. I can now describe what I can’t see in my head to AI and have it provide me with images. Sometimes wild and creative images that spark further my imagination. I’m still on the fence about AI’s broad application, but for assisting my imagination, I’m all for it.
